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'No' is the saddest experience you'll ever know....

October 12, 2017

"And one is always the loneliest number"..... and that pretty much sums up today and how I'm feeling.  One and lonely.  

 

It was a 'No' from High Court of Australia, or should I say.... 'dismissed'. In fact all 20 cases presented to the High Court of Australia were dismissed.  When I think about that, that's 20 applications that were put together collectively by some very 'learned' men and woman of the justice system, who I am sure are well versed and knowledgeable in law.  Of just those 20 cases there would have been a minimum of 30 well educated people placing those appeals to the High Court.  The law of averages is the law 'that a particular outcome or event is inevitable or certain simply because it is statistically possible'.  So if we look at how the justice system is  prevailing within Australia using the High Court dismissal rates, the law of averages when applied to  the High Court of Australia is simply 100% failure rate on application.  Tell me again why those 30 (minimum) well educated people who completed those applications on behalf of their clients went to university and studied law? What is the point of a High Court application?

 

But where does 'No' now stand for hubby and I?  Well that's NOW a confirmed 6 years to go, before he can apply for parole.  That's 6 years at home by myself with the kids till he may be allowed home, that 6 years ensuring I work really hard to ensure I keep a roof over our heads, and that's 6 years of which I don't think his dad will make. The look on my father-in-laws face was shattering.  At nearly 90 years of age all he wants is to sit out in the sunshine with his son again and have a coffee. He has severe Pulmonary Lung Disease and time is now of the essence.  They were such great mates and my hubby was his best mate, always ensuring his Dad was okay.  Our daughter still thinks Dad is coming home soon, and our Son is putting on a brave face at 13 years of age, trying to be the man of the house, but the look in his eyes says it all, and some days I catch him crying in the bedroom.  No more appeals allowed in this state, because there is simply no avenue for another appeal to occur.  We simply have the same draconian mentality of 'lock them up and throw away the key', similar to the original convicts that arrived in the 1800's.  And given that High Court is now just unattainable for the majority of people, really if you don't get your voice heard at trial with great representation, you can simply kiss you life good bye in this state. 

 

I got the news actually late last night when my Dad called me.  He had been anxiously waiting all day for the result.  He was and always is ever optimistic of a good result, because he along with I and our legal team knew we had good grounds.  When he said those words to me "its been dismissed', my stomach just sank and my heart just ached.  Dad was flabbergasted. Our QC was pissed... to say the least, and our lawyer when I spoke to him today was just devastated.  I personally know how much this team had put into this case.  In hindsight I just wish we had met them well before trial and I would not be here now writing this blog. 

 

Hubby rang in just after 8.30am this morning, I answered 'hey darling' the 12 second delay in the voice recording when he rings in from prison cut in.  At the 13 second mark he says "Didn't happen?", I answered "No".  He knew by the sound of my "Hey Darling" voice when I answered that it was all over.  I literally could hear the life slide out of his voice today.  He knew and I knew without even saying a word that he isn't coming home.  Your kids lives, your life, everything you have, your hopes, dreams and ambitions as a family, married couple simply just fall apart in that one instance, and a million emotions run through your mind.  He got of the phone really quick and I knew he was upset.  He rang back later, and all I could do was reassure him that this is not over, its just the beginning of the real fight.  But I know my hubby,  hes' shattered, devastated and the last time I saw him, was exhausted from the system that is now his daily life.  

 

All i want to do is go and pick him up,  wish this nightmare was over, and sit down and have a cup of tea with him.  When I had to work nightshift, hubby would be waiting on the front porch for me as I drove home in the van.  He would have the kettle boiled and we would sit down and have a cup of tea no matter what time of night it was, and we would discuss the day.  When I come home from work now, the worst is pulling into the driveway and not seeing him standing there.  That's gut wrenching.  It will be another 6 years till he's maybe standing there again.  And really will it be him standing there.  After 8 years in prison, I don't think he is ever going to be the same person again. He will be institutionalised.... A tragedy on all proportions, that should never have happened.  

  

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